Christmas Chaos
by NMMacc18
Summary: Frustrated with not being able to know if he's on the naughty or nice list, Calvin decides to go to the North Pole to find out for himself, with the always reluctant Hobbes tagging along. And, per the norm, chaos ensues on the whole way there, and even when they get there, one chaotic mishap after another occurs. Will Calvin figure out what list he's on? Who knows.
1. The Idea

**Chapter 1: The Idea**

* * *

It was that time of year again.

Christmas was once again upon everyone. Many people were out trying to do some last-minute Christmas shopping, while others we're hurrying to get on a flight to see relatives they rarely see at the airport.

While Christmas is seen as one of the happiest times of the year, for one kid, its one of the most stressful times of the year.

Take a wild guess on which kid.

Hobbes was reading comic books in Calvin's room when Calvin burst in with a panicked look on his face.

"What's wrong? Did you blow up the stove again?" Hobbes asked as Calvin looked around the room frantically.

"No! I just can't the suspense anymore!" Calvin yelled as he opened his closet and started rummaging through it.

"What suspense?" Hobbes asked confused.

"The suspense if I'm on Santa's Naughty or Nice list! Its ridiculous how we don't know what list we're on until Christmas Morning! I just _NEED_ to know!" Calvin said as he grabbed out his cardboard box.

"So why are you getting out the cardboard box then?" Hobbes asked.

"Because! We're duplicating ourselves, and then we're going to the North Pole, so if I'm not on the nice list, I can prove to Santa I deserve to be on it!" Calvin explained as he flipped the box on its side to be the duplicator.

"THE NORTH POLE?! ARE YOU INSANE?!" Hobbes said in shock.

"No! I know a way we can get there in less than a day!" Calvin said in defense.

"You do realize there's only 2 days until Christmas right?" Hobbes asked.

"Yes."

"You do realize something could happen on the way there right?"

"Yes."

"You do realize your parents' are gonna realize you're missing and then they'll be a nationwide manhunt for you right?"

"Why do you think I want us to duplicate ourselves?"

Hobbes sighed, he knew there was no way Calvin was going to change his mind, so he went in the box with Calvin, and they duplicated themselves.

"Okay. So you guys are Duplicates of me and Hobbes, understand?" Calvin asked two the two duplicates.

"Yes." The two duplicates responded.

"Good, so just act like Hobbes and I would normally would, so my parents don't get suspicious. When we get back, you two will automatically vanish, understand?"

"Yes." The two duplicates said.

"Good! Now go do, whatever Hobbes and I would do right now. Cmon Hobbes." Calvin said as he left this room, Hobbes followed.

Calvin got all of his snow gear on, while Hobbes got the toboggan, ready to go. Calvin left without either of his parents noticing, so he figured he was in the clear.

"Remember the LAST time you wanted to go to the North Pole? We didn't even get past Susie's house." Hobbes remarked as the two passed Susie's house.

"Yeah, but Susie's family went to Florida this year for Christmas, so we don't need to worry about that." Calvin said relieved.

"So where do we go?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, we need to go to Doomsday Peaks, sled down there, and then we should be near a top-secret mail train that goes straight to the North Pole! Its easy as that!" Calvin explained.

"Well how long is the train ride? And how is it even possible that it could go straight to the North Pole anyway?" Hobbes asked confused.

"Well, its a SECRET railroad from what I heard." Calvin said.

"Dare I ask who told you that?"

"Some kid named Bill... Waterboy I think. Or was it Bill Weatherman? I don't know, something like that." Calvin explained.

"You mean to tell me that you actually believed that?"

"Well he claimed to have done it himself, but before he could show me and a few others the pictures, Moe's goons got him and beat him up." Calvin explained.

Hobbes sighed, he knew Calvin would believe pretty much anything, and he knew it might lead them to some serious trouble.


	2. Train Troubles

**Chapter 2: Train Troubles**

* * *

Eventually, after a lot of trudging and falling down, Calvin and Hobbes finally made it to the top of Doomsday Peaks.

"Phew! That was a pain to climb" Hobbes said as he sighed in relief.

"You said it. Now comes the easy part..." Calvin said as he organized the toboggan to how he wanted it.

But then, Calvin and Hobbes got onslaughted with snowballs.

"Gah! WHO DID THAT?!" Calvin roared in fury.

"Heh, heh, heh! Gotcha good didn't we twinky?" Moe said as he and some of his friends walked up.

"Oh yeah? You want to see how good I can get you?" Calvin said, edging for a challenge.

"What happened to trying to be good?" Hobbes asked, but Calvin didn't hear him, as he was already engaging in a ferocious snowball war with Moe, with Moe and his friends coming out on top, who left Calvin, covered in snow.

"I'LL GET BACK AT YOU FOR THAT SOMEHOW! HOPE YOU FOOLS WALK IN FRONT OF A SNOW PLOW!" Calvin yelled, before shutting his mouth before realizing what he had done.

"I tried to warn you." Hobbes said in his defense.

"Shut up and let's get down to the other side." Calvin grumbled as the two hopped on the toboggan, and sled down the hill.

And, as usual, Hobbes had to Calvin to watch out several times as the swerved by trees, rocks, branches, you name it.

Then, when they made it to the bottom, they hit a bump, and went flying into the air, however, they ended up crashing into some coal.

And not any coal, they crashed into one of the coal tenders for the train Calvin had been talking about.

"Hey! We made it right on time!" Calvin said happily.

"Huh, so this must be the load of coal being used to stuff your stocking this year." Hobbes said jokingly.

"Shut up..." Calvin grumbled.

"So now what? We take this to the North Pole? If it actually goes there as planned and as you say?" Hobbes asked.

"Indeed!" Calvin said proudly.

"Can we like maybe, be in another one of the cars so we don't have to be on lumps of coal the whole time?" Hobbes asked.

"Yeah, we'll just crash that car behind this tender and hide out there." Calvin said, pointing to the train car behind the tender.

And so, Calvin and Hobbes jumped in it. The train continued on, for hours and hours, eventually it became Christmas Eve, and Calvin and Hobbes were still riding the train.

"Darn, we've been on here forever now! This train's never gonna get to the North Pole in time!" Calvin said impatiently.

"Maybe if you were patient, we would be there by now." Hobbes remarked, Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Attention, this train shall reach the North Pole in approximately 10 minutes." A voice said from a PA system.

"About time!" Calvin said in relief. Hobbes sighed.

Then, the train reached a steep hill. However, the engineer of the train had fallen asleep, and due to the height of the hill, he fell right out of the train, and crashed into the car Calvin and Hobbes were in.

"GAH! THIS CAN'T HAPPEN!" The engineer cried out.

"Who are you?" Hobbes asked.

"I'm the engineer elf! I control the train!" The engineer said.

"So?" Calvin asked confused.

"Nobody is controlling the train! And since I'm so small, I'll never be able to get back there! You two are my only hope! Go! Quick!" The engineer said panicking.

Calvin and Hobbes quickly burst out of the car, and managed to get to the train.

"Have any clue how to control a train?" Hobbes asked to Calvin.

"Nope."

"I thought so, so that helps out greatly..." Hobbes said sighing.

"Eh, just do what we always do, just press random buttons and pull random levers and stuff and see if something happens." Calvin said as he proceeded to do just that. Hobbes joined in, and the train made it to the top of the hill.

Unfortunately, the train then started going at a dangerously fast pace down the hill.

"OH MAN! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Calvin yelled panicked.

"DON'T WORRY! I GOT THE BRAKE!" Hobbes said as he pulled the brake lever, which barely worked, and the brakes to the train caught fire, and the train started to catch fire.

"WAY TO GO FURBALL! YOU'VE MADE THIS A WHOLE LOT WORSE THAN IT ALREADY WAS!" Calvin said infuriated.

"NOT MY FAULT I WAS TRYING TO HELP AT LEAST!" Hobbes said in his defense.

But before Calvin could say anything else, the train zoomed into a station. Calvin and Hobbes jumped out in the nick of time, as the entire train exploded as it crashed into the buffers at the station.


	3. Not so Hot Pursuit

**Chapter 3: Not so Hot Pursuit**

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes looked up, and saw several fire trucks with the train being sprayed with water to stop the fire.

"What in the name of Bill Watterson happened here?! That's the 4th mail train that's been destroyed this year!" An angry head elf boomed in frustration.

"Beats us boss, but some of the elves said they saw some kid and a tiger jump out of the train at the last second before it crashed." An elf said.

"WHAT?! FIND THOSE TWO AT ALL COSTS! THEY COULD POTENTIALLY RUIN CHRISTMAS THANKS TO _THAT_!" The angry head elf boomed.

"Alright, I think we should sneak out of here without notice, and then we try and find Santa." Calvin whispered to Hobbes.

"Or how about we just get outta here and go back home?" Hobbes suggested.

"I didn't come all the way to the North Pole to turn back, so come on." Calvin whispered as he dragged Hobbes and began to sneak away.

But then, sirens started blaring.

 _ **ATTENTION! THE NOODLE INCIDENT KID HAS BEEN DETECTED AT THE MAIL TRAIN STATION. APPREHEND HIM AND ANY ACCOMPLICES HE HAS WITH HIM AT ALL COSTS ASAP.**_

"I WAS FRAMED!" Calvin yelled in defense.

Then, several elves started shooting candy cane guns at Calvin and Hobbes, who proceeded to make a run for it, with several elves joining the chase.

As Calvin and Hobbes ran through all over Santa's Workshop, they destroyed many things, ran into a bunch of elves, among others.

"STOP THEM! DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY!" The angry head elf yelled as he lead the chase against Calvin and Hobbes.

Eventually, Calvin and Hobbes managed to lose the angry mob of elves, and hid away in a closet. When the mob had passed, Calvin and Hobbes left the closet, and started looking around, until they came upon a door that read: "N&N".

"Aha! So this is where the naughty and nice lists are at!" Calvin said as he swung open the door and went in, with Hobbes following.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Hobbes asked as Calvin started searching through the piles of kids that were on the nice list.

"Yes! That way I'll know for sure if I'm on it, and then I'll only to ask Santa why he never gives me nearly half the stuff I put on my Christmas list!" Calvin said in his defense.

"I think it probably has to do with the fact considering this year you sent him a 50,000 page list in five volumes in alphabetical order..." Hobbes said rolling his eyes, since he knew the answer was pretty obvious.

"That's not the point fleabag! I gotta be in here somewhere..." Calvin said as he continued to scavenger the lists.

But then, Calvin and Hobbes got trapped in a net, and a crane came out of nowhere, and lifted Calvin and Hobbes up, into a large office, with the angry mob of elves surrounding them.

"Uh-oh..." Calvin gulped.

Then, the man sitting in the desk turned around.

Calvin and Hobbes gasped.

It was the one and only, Santa Claus.


	4. How Calvin and Hobbes Saved Christmas

**Chapter 4: How Calvin and Hobbes Saved Christmas**

* * *

"Let them out of the net boys, they don't need to be stuck in that." Santa Claus said as two elves let Calvin and Hobbes out of the net.

"So, if it isn't Cal-" Santa began to say before noticing Calvin passed out.

"Santa! Its actually you! Thank gosh you're here! These stupid elves have been after Hobbes and I for no reason!" Calvin said in excitement.

"Because you destroyed the mail train, that's why!" The angry head elf boomed.

"Shut up shorty! Nobody cares about your side of the story!" Calvin snapped.

"WHO YOU CALLIN' SHORTY YOU PUNK?!" The angry head elf screamed as he had to be restrained by a few elves.

"Enough! So, Calvin, what brings you here on this fine Christmas Eve?" Santa asked to Calvin.

"Well Santa, I'm just here to explain to you that why I should be on the nice list. Sure I'll admit I'm not the world's greatest kid, but heck, I at least try when it counts." Calvin began.

"No need to explain anymore Calvin. Sure I know you aren't the world's greatest kid, but I appreciate the fact that you try to be good, even if it doesn't work out all that well." Santa chuckled.

"So you mean he's on the nice list?" Hobbes asked.

"Precisely!" Santa said smiling.

This caused the elves to go into an uproar.

"HE CAUSED THE NOODLE INCIDENT!" One went.

"HE WORKED WITH MAFIA!" Another went.

"HE NEARLY CAUSED A SECOND GREAT DEPRESSION!" A third one went.

"That was all in the pass suckers, so nobody cares." Calvin said sticking his tongue out.

"OH THAT DOES IT! WE'RE GOING ON STRIKE!" The angry head elf boomed as he led all the elves out.

"Strike?! Christmas is going to be ruined! I won't be able to get all the gifts now..." Santa said sulking.

Calvin and Hobbes thought for a moment, and then Calvin got an idea.

"Hey! Hobbes and I can finish things up for you!" Calvin said.

"Are you sure?" Hobbes asked nervously.

"Yes, are you sure you and Hobbes could do that with so little time left?" Santa asked.

"You bet I-er we can! Cmon Hobbes!" Calvin said as he ran out.

And so, Calvin and Hobbes worked like mad, but despite everything, they managed to get everything in done in time for Santa to take off at his scheduled time. He even offered Calvin and Hobbes a ride back home.

"Well Calvin and Hobbes, I have to thank you. Without you two, Christmas would be ruined!" Santa said pleased.

"No problem Santa! Now, here's some things you can do in return for Hobbes and I-" Calvin began before Santa snapped his fingers to cause the two of them to fall asleep.

* * *

 _ **6:12 am**_

Calvin woke up, he knew what day it was.

"HOBBES WAKE UP! ITS CHRISTMAS!" Calvin said as he ran out to get his parents up.

"WAKE UP! ITS CHRISTMAS!" Calvin yelled as he went into his parents' room.

"Ugh... Wait, 6:12 am? You let us sleep in slightly?" Calvin's Dad said surprised.

"Oh! Uh... I guess so... Hobbes and I were at the North Pole saving Christmas and that, that's why." Calvin said as he and Hobbes ran downstairs.

Calvin got a bunch of toys he liked, and Hobbes got some tuna and salmon he wanted, so for Calvin ad Hobbes, it was a good Christmas haul.

Later, the two were walking outside in the snow.

"So, good Christmas this year?" Hobbes asked.

"Yep! Even if it was hard-fought, I have to admit it was worth it!" Calvin said.

"But there's one present that stands above all..." Hobbes began.

"What is it?" Calvin asked.

"Being with you, no matter how crazy and strange you are sometimes." Hobbes replied.

Calvin smiled, "Same to you ol' pal."

"Merry Christmas Calvin."

"Merry Christmas Hobbes." Calvin said as he and Hobbes hugged.

 **THE END**

* * *

 _ **Sorry it took so long to finish this, I got busy. Season Two of The Calvin and Hobbes Show should be coming out soon hopefully.**_

 ** _Happy Holidays!_**


End file.
